


You're My Sunshine, I'm Your warrior

by SAKURA55



Category: BL - Fandom, SaintZee - Fandom, ZeeSUP - Fandom, ZeeSaint - Fandom, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAKURA55/pseuds/SAKURA55
Summary: What if ZeeSup existed Before LBC, what if they were a couple way before we met them? How did they handle everything up till now?PS: I had this in mind for days now. This is what they get for being too cute for my heart !I don't know how this will turn out but if you want to find out with me,join me 😊





	1. Chapter 1

Auditions

 

Zee was lying down on his bed, it as Sunday and Sunday's suck. He had so much free time but nothing to do with it, he ended whatever he had to film with the Domunditv boys and now he was lying down on his bed, bored as ever. He picked up his phone dialled his boyfriend's number, hesitated, put it back down and picked it up 5 minutes later. This process has been going on for more than 3 hours already and it was driving him nuts.

He  got up from the bed and dragged himself to his living room, he switch the tv on and lied down on the sofa looking out for something nice to watch. No luck, there was nothing interesting on tv and he had no one to talk to....living alone wasn't fun at all. He did ask his boyfriend to move in, but the boy doesn't want to leave his mother alone to move in with him.

Speaking of the devil he hears the door open and just as he sat up he saw his cute boyfriend closing the front door behind himself. He put down a plastic bag on the kitchen counter before cutely running to Zees side.

"Guess who came?" Wide smile plastered on his face.

Saint was undeniably cute, his fluffy brown hair, his chubby cheeks, his soft voice....Call him whipped but Zee loved everything about his adorable angel.

He couldnt help but tease him, "You...Obviously"

Saint's reaction was one of his favourites, a playful tap on the shoulder and  a pout "You're no fun Zee! And Where is my welcome kiss??"Clearly his cutie  was pouting.

Zee smiled upon seeing his boyfriend's  cute behaviour "of course the kiss, how could I forget? Let me arrange it for you, come here"

He grabbed Saint by the waist pulling him closer to himself, a gesture that made Saint gasp, Zee pecked Saints lip gently, before giving him a real kiss. "Welcome back sweetheart"

Saint smiled, pleased "You're the best, you know?"  He then hid his face in Zee's neck, breathing in his boyfriend's scent.

"I know, how was your audition this morning by the way?" Zee was affectionately patting Saint's hair while talking with him.

"Oh you remember?!" Saint drew back, "It went well, I auditioned for Pete, I wanted to play Ae but P'Keng told me that I wasn't fitting the character!  Still I auditioned for Pete, P'New, the Director, told me that he woukd call me back Monday to let me know."

Saint answered so happily, Zee could see how excited his boyfriend was.  If he would let him, the boy would be jumping around and repeating the story again and again. He wanted to tell him he was cute but decided to encourage him instead.

"I'm sure this one will be the good one! You will surely be taken as Pete!"

Saint had already done so may additions,  even got casted once before the serie was concealed. He really hoped this time the boy would be selected to play Pete's role.

"Are you sure you're Okay P'Zee? You really don't mind me playing in a boys love movie?"

 Zee knew he woukd get such a question from Saint, the boy was worried about their relationship and by the way Saint added "P" to his name meant he really was worried. Zee thought about this long enough to be sure about his decision to support him no matter what roles he would get, he was ready.

He leaned towards Saint and putting the boy's hair behind his ears gently, "why would I care? It's just acting, at the end of they day you're still mine. I don't mind it, I promised you I'll support your dream no matter what didn't I ? I'll not break it" He then gently kissed the worried boy's forehead.

Saint feeling reassured by Zee became even more animated, telling him stories about the auditions and talking about various things,  while Zee just let him be, listening to the stories with a sweet smile on his face. He was used to this side of Saint, the 1000 story boy as the few fans he had named him. It's true compared to Zee, the boy always had something to say, to share or to show and it made a great balance to his own calm personality.  They completed each other, one was outgoing and overfriendly and the other one was calm and friendly. 

Dinner done, Saint settled himself in the couch, still reading and working on Love by chance's script while Zee was working for his next project. From time to time, Zee would throw glances at Saint, who was trying so hard to get a higher pitched voice for his new role. Tired of his work, Zee looked up the book on the internet, he wanted to get to know the story to be ready for anything on screen.   
  
After a while, he was immersed in the story, he would love to play Ae, being able to hold on Saint as the boy played Pete but he had to prepare himself to see another boy hold his boyfriend in the movie. He didn't think about these when he first said yes, but he would never take back his words, he is ready to support his boy no matter what. Deep in thoughts, he didn't realise that Saint was just behind him, not until he felt two arms hugging him and a body touching his from behind.

"Aren't you more invested in this than I Zee? I haven't fully readen the novel, I just looked up some passage" Saint's voice was a little bit muffled by Zee's shoulder as he had his face burried there. 

Zee chuckled, "I was just curious about the story line, it really seems like a nice story, very cute" 

Saint nodded, "very cute, can you be very cute too and go to bed with me?" 

There is no need to ask Zee twice as he immediatly closed his laptop, got up and scooped Saint up in his arms earning a cute giggle from the younger one. 

"Your whish is my command Sir !" 

Zee walked to his bedroom while giving Saint some kisses on the cheeks. He entered the room and throw Saint on the bed, "Let's be cute together and sleep !", he then jumped next to Saint and gave him butterfly kisses all over his face making him giggle and laugh uncontrollably.

"Zee !!! Stopp!!! okay !" Saint was trying hard to make Zee stop without success

"Okay, let's go to bed for real now! hurry!" Zee got up and started to change his clothes, whereas Saint ran away in the bathroom to do it too. 

When they both finished, they got under the covers in Zee's big bed and cuddled. Zee couldnt' help but think that these moments were the best of his life. Saint snuggled closer to Zee, and made a wish silently "I wish our love to last forever". Both fell asleep a content smile on their faces. 

**"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." – Maya Angelou**


	2. Your Bright Smile this Monday morning

Monday mornings are usually the bests for Zee, as he often wakes up hugging his angel and just cuddling in bed. He was sleeping peacefully like very morning but this morning was a little bit special in the household. Today the spot usually occupied by Saint was empty, when Zee turned around to wrap his arms around the younger boy he met nothing but the cold bedsheets.

He lazily opened an eye to see where his sweetheart was, and spots him on the balcony animately talking with someone over the phone. The sight in front of him woke him up right away, Saint was wearing one of his t-shirt which didnt cover everything, his sweet smooth legs where exposed to Zee's eyes. His angel was beautiful, everything about the scenery was alluring, be it the Sunrays illuminating his perfect smooth skin, his fluffy bed hair moving in their own as the wind was blowing ...or his big guffy smile while he vigorously nodded his head.

How could he sleep when such an angel was tempting him, he pushed himself up in the bed just in time to see the said angel ending the phone call and coming back inside. He closed the door slowly expecting Zee to be still sleeping before turning around and finding his boyfriend looking at him smiling.

" you're awake? Did I wake you up?" Sitting down at the edge of the bed, he smiled to Zee

Zee smiled back, " No you didn't, but the bed was cold without you..so...warm me up." he grabbed Saint's arm, pulled the boy closer to his chest, making him lie down on top of him, so he can blurry his head in the other's neck. A sweet strawberry flavoured scent was coming from Saint's neck, " you took a shower" it was more a statement than a question but Saint still nodded. "You always smell so sweet and nice" Saint just smiled, he knew Zee really liked to smell him but he didn't expect what happened next. Zee kept on smelling this soft and sweet strawberry scent until he couldn't take it anymore and slowly bitting that spot between his neck and shoulder. It wasnt strong enough to leave a mark but it was enough to earn him a small tap on the chest by an angry Saint.

"Are you crazy ? don't leave a mark, it hurts " he said rubbing the spot, "Pete doesn't have lovebits, he doesn't have a lover yet !"

It took a few minutes for Zee to understand the meaning behind Saint's sentence, and when he realised what the boy just said, he flipped him over his back on the bed, "You're casted in LBC??!!"

"I am!!"he replied excited, Saint's smile at that moment was worth thousand millions of dollars. His smile was so big and genuine, Zee couldn't help but scream out of joy, "MY BABY IS GOING TO PLAY PETE!!"

Hearing Saint laugh at his sillyness encourage him to keep being silly, he picked up Saint, holding him in a bridal style and ran all around the apartment screaming "Move, our Pete is here". The only response to his silly action was Saints giggles resonating all around the house.

After a while, they both settled back on the bed tired of running around and screaming. Saint rolled over and settled on Zee's chest, playing circles there while Zee played with his hair.

" To be honest...I'm nervous...what if I can't really play Pete that well?" Sain't confession surprised Zee, the boy has never been insecure about his abilities before.

"You're already Pete for me" an idea popped in his mind, "come with me !" Zee pulled Saint up and lead him to their bedroom mirror, he placed Saint in front of him facing the mirror and made him look at himself.

"I'll show you how similar you both are, just follow my lead" they locked eyes through the mirror before Zee started again.

"Your brown eyes, I could dive in forever and get lost looking at them, just as Ae for Pete" he then pinched Saint's cheeks "those cheeks, Ae loves to pinch them, look at how round and soft they are, just like Pete's, I could kiss and pinch them all my life" he let his finger slide down to the lips, stroking them "Your lips, they taste sweeter than anything else, I can't stop kissing them just as Ae for Pete"  
He turns Saint around, facing him and takes his hand "your hands" then he stroked Saints hair "your hair.." Saint was looking down, he felt shy but Zee made him lock eyes with him again,"everything can be compared to Pete's, but you have it all ten times cuter, whoever your partner is, I'm sure he would agree."

A kiss, followed by two others before he continued " More importantely, your heart...this is a national treasure of kindness, generosity and love. You're perfect for the role Saint, have faith in you"

Saint smiled and hold onto Zee's hand, stroking it absent mindedely, "What if it doesn't go right?"

"I'll always be there to support you, I got your back. Just enjoy everything for now, your life is going to change, after all these years of trying and failing, you finally made it, be proud" Zee said squeezing Sain'ts hand, "don't forget me in your new life, I'll be in the corner, the shadow you might not see but I'll never leave your side because without you I'm not me, I love you"

Saint could feel the sincerity and love from his boyfriend, he knew that no matter what happened he still had him, Zee is his safe place, a place that gives him comfort and love....His home. Saint jumped and hugged Zee with all his might, holding him by the neck while his legs were wrapped around Zee's waist. Zee expected this so he successfully catch Saint in his arms, chuckling at the boys cuteness, "you're definitely trying to kill me with your cuteness, do you love me that much?".

Did Zee wait for a response from Saint? No, he didnt have to, Saint's body language was his answer. The way Saint was wrapped all around him, the way he was holding Zee close, the way he was slowly kissing Zee's neck and shoulders were enough answers for him. When Saint finally locked eyes with Zee again, he slowly kissed him, a small peck at first, followed by a longer kiss, nibbling at Zee's bottom lips. Zee slowly closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the kiss, savoring the sweet taste of his lovers lips, and of the slow loving kiss they shared. Saint got down from his the first position and pushed Zee on the bed, lying down just next to him and kissing him again. Interlocking their legs, zee brought saint closer, one hand on his lower back and the other in Saints hair.

There was nothing sexual, just a mutual need of affection and love. The kisses were slow both taking their time to enjoy it and to show their love. Saint had his hands inside Zee's shirt, playing with the abs, letting his fingers follow the lines of his abs. One last kiss and they withdrew, both needed some air but Saint kept playing with Zee's abs, stroking gthem endlessly.   
  
"I have to go to work in an hour ! I have to prepare " his hand movement finally stopped, he pulled It out, his body up to lock eyes with Zee who was still trying to calm his poor heart before it jumped out of his chest.

"P' will you come to my 1st workshop or will you stay home?" the question was asked with a small voice followed by a cute pout from the other party.

"I'll watch from home, you have to go alone" Even if Zee wanted to go, he knew that for now it was better for the little one to be alone in there, to meet everyone and make new friends without having to care for him.

"You're right....I wish we could work together one day though" he complained not stopping his pout

"We will, I promise you we will work together but first work on this one alone, na?" it was too much for Zee, he kissed those lips again making the poutty lips disappear to just leave a smile.

Saint's mischievous plan was revealed, "You will just give in to me for everything, right? I just have to pout"

Zee on the other hand just nodded, laughing at how the boy just tricked him "You know, I already do. Stop testing me and go prepare"

Saint got up from the bed, ran to the bathroom but not forgetting to send flying kisses to Zee before closing the door and laughing. Zee is far gone for that boy, his friend calling him whipped and he knows it, but if it's Saint, he is willing to be whipped.

**"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."Dr. Seuss**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡  
> Chapter 2, I tried my best but may not be that great !   
> I'm in love with this couple! Have you guys seen yesterday's sweet airport moments??😍😍❤💙  
> They feed my delulu brain so well ! And Zee driving them home😍


	3. Jealousy Is A Cruel Mistress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡  
> It's a bit longer than the previous ones and in Zee's point of view which was a little bit harder for me to write. I'm trying to improve my writing haha   
> Hope you'll like it!   
> I'm still not over today's ZeeSuo content and the Fighter Tutor looks😍😍❤💙

_**Zee's Pov** _

It's been weeks since the last time Saint and I had some private time together, weeks since we last slept together, weeks since we spend time to just love each other, he's been working on the scrip either with P'New or with Nong Perth. He's no longer alone anymore, he always has work, meetings or events to attend. It's not that I'm jealous....or...am I? Maybe but just a little bit.. Sometimes I really get frustrated with his current schedule, I want him for myself just for a few hours, is it too much to ask?!

I ruffle my hair from frustration as I watch him working....again but in our house this time. I'm currently sitting near the kitchen counter while Saint and Perth are working on their roles in living room's sofa, the filming will start tomorrow and they want to be ready. From where I am I can see their profile as they are sitting facing each other. I can hear them talk about kissing and how the scene a will play out, and I'm at my limit today.

I thought I wouldn't care, it's just a movie right? But seeing Perth touch his chubby cheeks or grab his hands is sending electric shocks all over my body. I've been watching them for hours and I've seen everything I didn't want to see so far ... being lovely dovey, holding hands, rubbing cheeks or hugging.

It might sound selfish but my whole being is scream mine, mine , mine on a loop since the beginning of the practice time...every time Perth touches Saint's hand, hair, cheeks... they're too close for me to not burn of jealousy. I don't share what's mine, I don't want him to touch what's mine, but do I have a choice? I have to share him for the sake of his career...arghhh this is driving me nuts!! I want to kick them out of the house... that Perth kid and his friend!

Because of course Nong Perth needed to bring that plant, plom or whatever his name was into my house too. He's been sitting there and encouraging them or giving them advices the whole time. He's annoying me even more than the two others...I see him walking up to me with the excuses of bringing them watter.

"He won't steal him away from you, you know?" Perth's friend said sitting down next to me, I don't like his attitude and the way he looks at me but I won't start a fight with my boy's co-worker....for the sake of his career Zee remember you promised to support him, don't break it...I sight and look at that boy again before smiling and saying "I'm not doubting it, I trust Saint and I doubt he would want anyone else anyway"

"Then stop throwing daggers with your eyes P" he said smiling wildely before taking his drink and going back. I was still looking at the spot he occupied a few seconds ago...did I really look that pissed? This is not good... I can't act that way, this is work.

Suddenly Perths ask Saint a question making me slip from my chair out of shock "Shall we practice the kisses too P? I'm lost and nervous already"

They all turn to me...how embarrassing

"You're okay bay'?"

"Yes don't worry! Just felt dizzy standing up, please continue to work I'm fine!"

I managed to smile...man that was embarrassing as hell! Saint just smiled at me before going back to Perth. Shall I fall again? Hmm...not definitely not it hurts took bad

"Perth don't be nervous, it will be okay, the more you will kiss the more it will be easy, you don't have to practice it since it will also be Ae's First kiss." Saint reassured Perth and then patted his back with a big smile.

The more he smiles the more unreasonable I become...Don't smile to him like that ! That smile is mine ! I can't help my brain to shout these but I stopped my mouth from doing it out loud. After being tortured for a whole day, I couldn't take it anymore but I didn't want to cut their practice short on a whim. So I left the kitchen and went back to my room not sparing them a glance even if I can feel Saints eyes following me.

I throw myself on my bed and switch the tv on, going through a lot of channels and spending hours watching random shows. After a while, the bedroom door slowly opens and a small familiar head stucked himself through the small opening. I really want to laugh at his silliness, I can feel him looking at me with only his head being apparent in the room as his body was still behing the door. I know he thinks I'm upset but I'm not really, I want to tell him but I also really want to see what he will do so I decide to ignore him and act sulky...well i tried because the minute I heard his broken voice I nearly ran to his side.

"P~ I'm sorry"

I looked up to him, I'm not good at acting and hearing is sad voice as if he did something bad just.....argh! I can't see him dejected like this without wanting to spoil him. I mention him to get closer, he walks up to me like a small kid who's waiting to be punished, he's too cute to be true and I can't help but laugh.

"I'm not angry Saint" his Brown eyes looked at me, observing me, thinking that I might be joking but I kept a straight face..well as straight as I can at least....He was clearly expecting me to be angry or to sulk but I'm surprisingly fine, I feel better than earlier. I can't resist and pinch his cheeks "I went up because I didn't want to disturb you as I was clearly getting jealous every time he touched you"

Relief washed over him as he relaxed, he sat down on the bed and took my hand, his other hand sliding slowly from my head to my cheeks until it stops on my left cheek, stroking it lightly "thank you...You're the best boyfriend ever. I love you, you don't have to be jealous of him, he's just a kid and I like him as a borther only but you I love you so much"

"Hmm still a brother you will kiss and touch...." It's true that I feel uneasy about those scenes, the one I read in the book are quite explicit and I don't know how far P'New will make them or how intense they would be...I'll have to replace the taste of his lips by my own after each scene for sure...

"Yes....but only on screen" he took both of my hands again and puts it in his own cheeks "this is only yours...he touches the ones being Pete's, when I'm with him I'm Pete but when I'm with you...I'm only Saint"

"Well Only Saint, can you at least spare us some time? I've been missing you here !"

"You're always missing me ! even if we nearly live together ! but I'll try, for you I'll do my best" he shivers and laughs at his own cheesy words but I'm happy he said those now I can try and think of it differently, without knowing he just gave me an idea to tone down my jealousy.

"Come on can you give me a kiss at least?" He rised his eyebrow at my demand,

" What? I really miss those red plump's lip's taste"

"You've never ask for a kiss before.. Why do you ask something when it's already yours?"

I see his mischievous grin and while I'm thinking of an answer he gets closer to my face..."So what should I do then?" I asked looking at his face, he's already just an inch away from my face, so close...too close for me to keep my sanity intact... I just want to grab his head and kiss him already but I'm trying to be patient now..

"You just have to take it" he whispered his answer and I nearly lost it there....I felt his lips moving against mine due to the small gap between our faces, I felt my heartbeat rise when anticipation....I'm way too gone for him, my body reacts on his own, I can't control it and smash our lips together....I can feel his smirk against my lips when I hold onto his neck while kissing him. I entended to keep the kiss longer but I felt his hand sliding up on my chest before he pushes me away.

"Enough enough you're going to kill me ! You're asking for a kiss, not a make out session !"

"What ? shall I ask for a make out session to be able to hold onto my boyfriend?"

"Keep dreaming, I have to work! Maybe later if you behave" He tricked me, what a brat !

After giving me some hope, he just ran away to the living room living me in the bedroom smiling like an idiot for a few minutes before I decided to get up and Chase him down.

You have too much power over me Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana ! And I wouldn't want it the other way.

 

**_"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." – Rumi_ **

 

 


	4. Uncontrolled Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be uploading for a while, I don't know how long maybe a week or two due to some personnal problems. There might be some mistakes too,  Sorry~
> 
>  That being said,enjoy 😊

 

"P'Zees khrab!!"

Zee rolled under the covers,  "Leave me Alone"the older one was trying to protest.

"P'Zee Khrab~ you promised to have breakfast with me khrab..." but the winning voice of his boyfriend still got to his ears, the pillow over his head, hands covering his ears were finally not enough to cover Saints voice this morning.

Zee recluantly sat up in the bed, looking at Saint half asleep, trying to figure out how to get back at him, when an idea crossed his mind.

"I promised Saint, not Pete so go get him and I'll have breakfast with my boyfriend.  You should go have breakfast with Ae, I don't want to die if Ae founds out your eating breakfast with someone else" He then proudly fall back down on the bed, closing his eyes.

"Oyyyy"

His plan still failed miserably, as soon as he closed his eyes again, Saint started to hit him with one of the pillows "I hate you ! wake up! now!!" However instead of feeling angry, he was laughing his heart out at his lovers reaction. A while later, he hugged Saint, securing him between his arms, mumbling sweet words into the boy's ears. Some hugs and kisses later, they finally decided to have breakfast, Zee was in a better mood after finally getting some time alone with his lover, far from the movie set. His jealousy over Perth was killing him, especially since he could read that the actors were a lovely couple and a lot of their fans wanted them to date.

He was doing his best to cope with it but things have been complicated recently as the younger one was often calling Saint to check on him or simply to talk. That was the most irritating for Zee who felt like he didn't only share Saint on cameras but he also shared him in private too. He was glad the boy was getting new friends but he felt like a third wheel in his own couple sometimes.

So having time with Saint without anyone disturbing them was the happiest thing in his life, he wished time would stop, but luck wasn't on his side as Saint's phone rang for the 3rd time that day. They both looked at the callers ID, Perth Tanapon. Saint took call despite Zee's bothered face,simply throwing him an apologetic smile.

"Hello, Nong"

Zee didn't hear everything clearly as he was sitting there waiting for the call to end. He heard something about matching clothes and couple date or whatever it was and he tried to ignore it, he already decide to support whatever they had to do for marketing and fan service. Unnecessary to say that after holding in so many jealous moments, thoughts, when He overheard Perth say  "You're really cute P'Saint! I'm lucky to have you !" His rationale side was thrown to the trash. 

Saint who had never faced an angry Zee didn't really think Zee would raise his voice at him, but when he finally finished talking to Perth and turned back to Zee, he could tell he was in trouble. Zee was sitting hands crossed over his chest, looking more pissed than ever, and when their eyes met, he finally talked

"Can that brat not call you 24h/7?"

Saint eyes widened at the words Zee chose to use, it was the first time for him to call Perth a brat. Zee was usually very calm and rationnal, they've never had any argument and if there was a problem they always talked it out calmly. But seeing how angry Zee was,Saint knew that if he also lost control this could blow up so he tried to not get mad too instead he put down his folk and tried to stay calm.

"excuse me? You can't talk like that Zee....what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? He's asking what's wrong"

Zee repeated the question in a sarcastic tone, he couldnt control his frustration, hands slamming the table he just let the words out

"I'm going to tell you what's wrong. I'm sharing you with kid since day 1, but it's not only on TV anymore I'm sharing my real life with him! Im a third wheel in my own relationship, we can't even have breakfast without him calling you. I don't like it ! And What's the "I'm lucky" speech? Huh? Yeah he's lucky! Lucky I don't shove my fist in his face !"

"You're exagerating, you've never told me that you felt that way.... but seriously, are you going to be jealous of a kid now?"

"Excuse me then sir! When can I tell you? When can we even talk? He is either with you or calling you or kissing you !"

"Pete and Ae are kissing and that's in a movie, I'm an actor in case you forgot !"  

"Aren't you Pete? Isn't Pete's lips yours? Put yourself in my shoes, sharing you in the movie is hard but I got it it's a job....but What about those phone calls? Is it a part of the contract too? Does he have to stick to you like glue even during your private times?..."

Saint didn't even answer, what could he say, its not like he was completely false either, he had rights to not like it. However, Saint didn't like the way he was blamed so he just kept silent. Zee on the other hand realized quite late that he really went too far. He looked at Saint, and sat back down. He knew he blew things up, he didn't think twice before letting his frustration out and venting on Saint, but he didn't expect Saint's answer.

"Zee I love you, I love you more than anything, but this can't go on like this, I don't want us to fight over everything like this so if you're unhappy...you can break up...I'd understand"

With that said Saint stood upand turned his back to the table, he didnt want Zee to see how it hurt him to say these, of course he doesn't want Zee to feel that way and if he could he would stop seeing Perth but he already signed contracts, he cant back off anymore and he doesn't want Zee to suffer either...maybe it was for the best... but before he could leave the room, Zee grabbed his hand

"I'm sorry.  I went too far.. I said things I shouldnt have....let's talk please....Don't go...Saint... look at me please?"

Saint didn't know what to do, he knew Zee was feeling jealous over Perth and it was driving the boy nuts to always see them so close but he doesn't know how to put Zee's heart at ease. Getting no reaction from Saint who was still not facing him, Zee feared that the boy had made up his mind to break up, so he found nothing better than kneel down and it worked because Saint immediatly turned around. 

"I'm sorry babe, im really sorry...I kept so many things inside not to hurt you and I guess today I couldn't do it...I'm so sorry, I love you.....I'd give up everything for you, I can't break up...I love you...but if you want to then I'll let you free...but please lets talk it out first"

"I want you to...set yourself free" Saint kneeled down in front of Zee, holding his face so they could look at each other "I'll never be interested in him P', I will never leave you. Have faith in me...please? We cant fight like this every time. I'll talk to him and tell him to call less and you can come with me during the events even today, stay with me.. your my most precious person I don't want to lose you"

"I shouldn't have said those things..I'm sorry"

"Next time talk to me instead of hiding it, please?" 

They both agreed to not hide their feelings, even if it was jealousy or anger towards each other, they agreed to talk it out to avoid misunderstand and fights. Today all the cast would gather and watch the first episode of Love By Chance with some fans at a theater, pointless to say how excited everyone was especially Saint. So once they settled their morning fight aside, both started to get dressed, leaving the food untouched. 

 Zee was going to drive him there, he would stay in the backstage and watch everything from there, his prescence was just a way to support Saint. He also wanted to talk to Perth and ask him to tone down his calls as he should have done without bringing Saint into the problem he had with the boy. He didn't wan to go at first but he was glad to be there in the end, especially when during the fanmeeting after the event, P'New announced that the TV channel who was supposed to air the serie had backed off. 

He was observing the scene from a far, somewhere no one could notice his presence and watched as Saint's face turned from super happy to sad. He could tell the boy was holding back tears, trying to not cry but he still did eventually. Perth was trying to confort him and Zee whished he could just run to Saint and confort him himself. He was still grateful someone was there for Saint when he couldn't. 

After the event, he joined the car sooner than P'Keng and P'chen, a few minutes later Saint entered he car too. To his surprise, Saint just sat down, closed the door and hugged him, burrying his head in Zee's neck seeking confort and love. 

"P'chen could you drive us to his favourite restaurant, I made a private reservation" 

"Sure"

"thank you" 

No more words were exchanged in the car, as P'Chen was driving through Bangkok's traffic. Zee knew that food will always be Saint's first choice after temples to get some energy back. Saint didn't need to talk for Zee to know what the boy wanted and he would make sure they eat first before heading to a temple tonight to satisfy his lover.  


	5. Let's Dance The Night Away

**Zee's Pov**

It's been hours since we've been back home and lying in bed but he's still wide awake. I know he really feels depressed after hearing the news today, so I do what I can; be present. Our feet are entangled together while we're hugging on the bed, tired from all the walking and praying in temples. 

He slowly shifts in my arms, hiding his head in my neck, his arms hugging  me closer by the waist as if trying to melt in me. I wish I could soothe his pain but I'm as helpless as himself here so I hug him a bit closer, a bit harder while kissing his hair and forehead multiple times, hoping it would give him some sort of confort.

"Sing me a lullaby P'Zee"

I've never been really good at denying things to him, especially when he is already this sad, so here I go trying to sing the first lullaby that I remember... "twinkle twinkle little start..." I start singing will  rocking him as if I had a 3 years old in my arms which earns me a little punch on the chest and a complaint 

"P'Zee~~, I'm not 3! Sing a grown up lullaby!"

"Do grown up need lullabies ?" I ask playful, hoping to lighten up the mood

He chuckled and shake his head "No P' but I want some music and I'm lazy to go and put it on"

Bingo, the first giggle of the night. My goal is to make him forget his sadness. I want my happy Saint back.

"Want me to go do it for you?"

He shakes his head, tightening his grip on me "don't leave me"

"Never"

I take my phone from the bedside table, putting on some random music.

"P'..."  
"Hmm?"  
"Whatever happens tomorrow...I did good right? Still proud of me right?"

"Whatever happens tomorrow,  the day after tomorrow or whenever I'm always proud of you Saint. If it doesn't air, it's sad but you'll have other opportunities and it doesn't mean you didn't work hard enough for this one."

He loosens his grip on me and lies on his back. "I wish it airs though"

"It will. Everything will turn out great at the end"

"P' this is not good..." I finally see his mischivious smile, why do I feel like I shouldn't ask this but I still do anyway 

"What is not good?"

"You can't be sweet like this...I'm worried someone will snatch you away"  His smile slowly growing as he's proud of his own cheesyness...oh gosh I missed that smile, I would give anything to make him smile like this forever and that's how I end up being cheesier than him...

"Then hold on to me tight"

he makes a disgusted face "P' too cheesy~~" 

I roll on the bed and stop just above him, "I would be cheesy everyday if it makes you smile like this", he smiles, hands coming up and cupping my cheeks, stroking them slowly and then he pinches me so hard that it hurted, making me scream out of surprise and maybe a bit of pain.

"Soo sweet ! Let me pinch you a bit" he said while pinching me harder

I had no other choices than smack him with a pillow wich resulted on a pillow fight at 3 am. After a while, he fall back on the bed, exhausted from the fight.

"You destroyed the romantic vibes of this all" I said, while laughing

"P' put on a romantic song, I want to be cheesy tonight" 

I take my phone, put on the most romantic song I have as an idea popped in my head. I look at him, sitting up in bed while he's waiting for my song. I press the play button and extend my hand towards him

"May I?" 

"What ? what are you doing P'?" 

"Dance with me? please?" 

I was still holding out my hand, he hesitated and slowly took it while getting up "you're crazy "

I pull him closer to me not minding his protest of "I can't dance P", my hand around his waist I start making us swing slowly as the song starts. 

"Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby, when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away"

The song playing is Amazed by Lonestar, a sweet song that always makes me think of him. He slowly gets more confortable as we slow dance in the middle of my small room, so I pull him a bit more close to me and he rests his head on my shoulder. This way I can feel him more, I can breath in his perfume...it's intoxicating, I can't think of anything else and by the way he hugs me and smiles, I can see that he also doesn't think of anything else. If I could, I would stop time right now, let us stay like this forever...happy, content and without anything else disturbing our peace...

"Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by youThe smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me  
Baby, you surround me  
Touch every place in my heart" 

I couldn't stop myself from singing along the lyrics but to my surprise he follows 

"And it feels like the first time every time. I want to spend the whole night in your eyes.I don't know how you do what you do"

"I'm so in love with you" he joins me in singing the verse as we slow down the dancing while staring at each other. He smiles genuinely.

"P' I really love you so much, I love your cheesiness and the way you care for me even if sometimes I'm annoying and noisy, but my love for you.... "It just keeps getting better,I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side, Forever and ever"...." 

He sang the last part making me smile. At this point we were no longer dancing but we were standing in the middle of the room, hugging each other. It was late, we were tired but we were madly in love and that was enough.

"I love you to the moon and back Saint" I said as I kissed his forehead, closing my eyes and savoring the moment.

After a while, I pushed myself back before asking him"are you tired? Do you want to sleep?"

"NO...can we just stay like this P'? Just like this, just the two of us...dancing?"

"Then Let's dance the night away my Boo" I winked at him, smiling widely. A smile that he returned by one of his own, more cuter and sweeter. Before holding the back of my head and pressing his soft, red lips on my own.

It was a sweet kiss, as the lights of the city were slowly going off one by one. We were here, in the middle of my bedroom kissing each other while listening to a cheesy romantic music he hates so much.

The world might fall apart, but my love for this little boy will forever remain.

**☆☆☆☆☆**

**"I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow. — Leo Christopher"**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this for a while now. I had this in mind for maybe a month. I originally planned to have a sweet smut scene but I couldn't write it, I didn't find enough inspiration for it so I'm ending it this way, I might come back to it and change it later on! For now hope you enjoyed it🙏❤


	6. The Hidden Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii I know I know I didn't write for a while~
> 
> I'm sorrry haha I had wayyy too many things to do these days ! And I have my essay on Shakespeare to write and translate some parts of the play for uni. I was really busy but I'm back~
> 
> I won't promise to write often but I'll try to update once a week haha
> 
> This is a small chapter, nothing much happens but it was needed ^^"
> 
> See you soon again! Hope you enjoy~~
> 
>  

In the middle of the appartment, Saint was talking to Zee over the phone. 

"I will finish late today, when will you finish the work today Nong?"

"I didn't work today Phi~, don't worry I'll make some food until you get back! but I have to do a reaction video on youtube for the fans" 

"Why didn't you work? didn't you have an event with the rest?"

"hm...No Phi, it's not related to LBC, forget it, I have to go see you tonigh!!"

Saint quickly hang up, and went to sit on the couch, preparing to make a video reaction of episode 4. He was not really in the mood but he knew that the fans would love to see it and it motivated him. As the video started, he did his best to be cheerful and happy, just like the fans were used to see him. 

While his mother was sitting a bit further away, watching her son. The truth is that the past few days were a nightmare for her. Watching her son being left out from a lot of things and he refused the offer to be a part of attractor, and things went wrong from that moment. 

After shooting, Saint said goodbye to his mother and his managers, and closed the door. 

"Ok ! let's go prepare food  now !" he said, while running towards the kitchen. Once the food was done, he cooked something simple, curry with rice. He then decided to iron Zee's clothes, while waiting for him because he wanted to occupy his mind and not think about all the problems he had at work. 

 He never thought he would be the victim of hate at the end of his journey. He's rarely invited to any events with the boys anymore, his once dreamed role is getting tarnished. Love by chance cast is becoming 7 as if Pete, his role, the 8th boy never existed. Just as Pete, sometimes Saint feels like his existence in here didn't matter...

" was I that bad in my role? or did I just dream too big?" he muttered slowly as tears started to gather at the corner of his eyes.

"What do you mean ?" 

Saint jumped, surprised to hear Zee's voice.

"What happened Saint? why are you ironing the same t-shirt for the past 5minute?"said Zee trying to be as gentle as possible.

"Zee...I..." tears escaped his eyes slowly and prevented him from ending his sentence. Seeing his boyfriend in such a state, Zee let go of the bag he was holding and quickly went to Saint's side. He slowly took the iron and put it back on the table, he then took Saint by the shoulder slowly to turned him towards him. He then hugged the crying boy, letting him cry to his heart content. They stayed that way for a while, when Saint calmed down Zee turned the iron off, unplugging it. 

"Let's talk on the couch, come here" Zee took his hand and led him to the couch.

As they sat, Ze asked Saint again "what happened? why were you crying?"

"Just emotions...no need to worry P'Zee" Saint said trying hard to hide the truth. He didn't want to involve Zee in this mess.

"Saint, we promised we would always be honest with each other right?" said the taller boy, taking Saint's hand in his.

"Yes.."

"I'll be honest...I talked to P'Keng and your mom...I know things but I want to hear that from you. Can you please share it with me?"

Saint nodded his head before taking a deep breath.

"Today I was supposed to work....but... despite knowing that the event holder contacted me first for that couple event, I had to take myself out to not cut the job for the other boys...They're having fun at the event and I'm just here...Attractor refused to do the event if they take me too.."

"Why didn't you tell me what was happening?"

Saint shrugged his shoulder, "I didn't want to involve you"

 "SAINT! Gosh...this is a serious matter ! I need to know it from you, how many ice creams and tears did you share by yourself? How many nights did you feel lonely by yourself?! How long did you plan on enduring this alone?" Zee finally said. 

"You can't just endure that alone, I'm your boyfriend, I'm supposed to be there to support you!" 

"I'm sorry" Saint's eyes were full of tears again, of course he suffered through everything alone and of course it was difficult for him. He always wanted to tell Zee, to cry in his arms and seek his confort but he didn't want to worry him more than what he already had. So he cried alone in his bed or in the shower before going to sleep. 

Zee hugged him, he was angry but he knew that he couldn't do anything. He can't get involved in a conflict between two agency that easily especially since he's also in another agency. But he knew what to do next, he can't possibly leave Saint with those snakes to eat all that boy's positive energy until forever. He was glad when he heard that Saint had Mean by his side, who tried his best to cheer him up. He always like the boy, he never once acted bad towards them. 

"From now on, I need to know every single details that happens, you hear me?"

Saint just nodded his head, deep down he was glad Zee knew everything and he didn't have to tell him anything. 

"Okay okay Enough crying ! Let's eat ice cream and get fat together !"

"Dummy~ let's eat first and then let's have ice cream ! I want chocolate ...."

Zee smiled as Saint was telling him what he wanted while heading to the kitchen, he couldn't help but think that Saint loved food more than he loved his boyfriend. 

"P'Zee you're coming or what?!"

"I'm coming~~" 

He joined his boyfriend in the kitchen to eat. 

"If you just believe in me, I will love you endlessly." — Mariah Carey

 

 


	7. It Hurts

Zee POV:

Tonight, we're watching TV, or should I say he's watching tv because I'm watching him, he's more nice to look at if you know what I mean. I'm  looking at his facial expression more, trying to see how much it changed. He's watching some kind of documentary about temples, who watches such thing ?? Well Saint Suppapong of course. I'm used to it now, but it always makes me smile. He really is not interesting in young boys stuff, he's like an old dad sitting at home and spending time with family. I chuckle thinking about it. 

"Creepy"I hear him say softly

"what? Why?" I ask smiling, I'm sure he's just playing with me.

"You're watching me and laughing by yourslef, that's creepy Sir. If I was a teen, I would call the police and tell them an old man is watching me! "

"I was just thinking about our first meeting" I replied, amused by his joke.

"You still think about it?" He tries to sound surprised, but I can see him trying to hide his pleased smile.

which makes me smile too, "of course"

He ignored me and kept watching his documentary. So I really started thinking about it, we met in a coffee shop, yes pretty classic you'd say, I was going to enter the shop when he pushed the door open and knocked me off into P'Park's arms. That was my first meeting with Saint and my first kiss with my friend. How? well when you try to act silly walking backward and the door opens pushing you forward while your friend is walking towards you, that's how things like this happen. But I'm not going to lie, I am thankful to that day because at least I met my angel.

 The second time, it was in the same coffee shop, he was with his best friend and he spilled coffee on me. Classic too right? I know, he spend 3 hours apologizing, then inviting me to dinner. The funniest part? He thought that I was dating P'park, so everytime I tried flirting, he would kick me and lecture me that it's not good to cheat. So we started off as friends for two weeks until the day he.... 

"P'Zee, you're still thinking about it?" Saint's voiced stopped me in my thoughts, I looked at him and nodded my head "Yes, I just remembered how you thought I was trying to cheat on Park with you" I say amused by the memory. 

He smiled, "you two looked like a couple I couldn't help it! "

"I know" I chuckled, realising that he had switched the TV off I asked "the doc is over?"

"Hmm no.." He said looking down on his hands making me worry..

"Babe?" I call softly, trying to prevent making him cry as I could see he was doing his best holding back tears.

"Phi, do you think LBC was a mistake?"

I frowned, "a mistake? didn't you want to act as Pete? do you regret?" I said looking confused.

"I did, but maybe it wasn't for me? maybe I should have left my place to someone more competant for it?" his voice was so low that I had to nearly read on his lips to understand his sentence. So this was the reason why he suddenly wanted to watch tv...

"Don't look down on your hardwork just because a bunch of assholes decided that you weren't worthy of spending time with them or having events with their kids. You did amazing, for me you were the best." I sat down closer to him, facing him while saying it. 

"You're biased..."was the only answer he gave me.

"True, for me you're the best. But look at how you worked, you changed your voice, you practiced everyday, driving me nuts with that sweet voice, testing my limits by acting like Pete, don't you dare think you were not good enough. For GOD's sake you even lost so much weight for that role !" I said a bit louder than expected. I calmed myself down before continuing...

"I might be biased over you because I love you, but I'm honest here. You ate, breathed and talked like Pete for months, you weren't acting..you became Pete so please...don't let them take your hardwork away, don't let them step on your ego and don't let them make you think lowly of yourself. Let them get lost with that money, it won't bring them dignity anyway",  I said calmly, trying to make him understand. 

"I don't care about the money, I just don't feel comfortable doing this anymore...Standing there, trying to laugh with the boys and acting fine in front of the fans, I'm tired Phi...I want this to end...please...make it stop...please ." He said in between sobs.

"Then stop doing it, cut the ties and go your own way" I answered trying keep my voice from breaking. It hurts...it hurts seeing you like that Saint..my heart is torn in pieces and stepped upon...

"Phi that's not serious! I have a contract and it's not cool towards P'New who gave me this chance...and the fans...I don't want to disapoint them...Phi what should I do" he replied before crying Harder.

Saint please...my heart can't take it. I rather be the one suffering. In those 3 years of dating, I've never allowed one single tear to escape from those beautiful eyes...how dare they make you cry endlessly like this? How dare they take your smile away?! 

The moment tears escaped from his eyes again, I knew that this was the last bit of respect I had for that managers..if only I could go and give them some advice of my own..but there is one thing I can promise myself and promise Saint, that's that they will never make money out of his pain ever again, the only time they will see him will be when they will watch him on the top from the bottom...Until then I clench my fists and hug him, rocking him against my body trying to give him some kind of confort... 

"Can you hang in there a bit more? until everything is over for real? I'll find you another job after that, I promise you'll never feel this way ever again after this job, I'll make you happy again deal?" I said, while hugging him closer to me, I was on the verge of tears too now.   

He shifted closer, burrying his head in my neck, inhaling my scent as he slowly said "Deal, please save me from this hell phi...I can't keep going alone..I need you but now I'm tired, can we sleep?"

"Go ahead, nap and then let's go to the temple a bit"  I replied, as he nodded and closed his eyes.

I made myself more comfortable, I helped him lie on my lap so that he could sleep peacefully while I could stroke his hair thinking...Have you ever tried healing someone to have him break again and again? Have you ever comforted someone when you can do nothing to stop him from being hurt? Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, you are you useless? This is how I feel when  right now...I'm powerless but that's just for now. 

I don't know how long I've watched him sleep until I felt my eyes start closing slowly too. 

I wake up a while later, not feeling any weight on my lap which indicated me that Saint must be awake. The room is really dark, I look around for my phone and find it right next to me which is also how I get to notice that I'm now lying down with a small blanket on me. I sit down wondering how he lied me down without me noticing that. 

I get up and start searching for him, but find him nowhere downstairs so I decide to go the bedroom thinning he might have gone there to sleep on the bed. Seeing that he's still not there, I start to worry until I hear a faint sobbing sound. It's coming from the bathroom, I try to silently approach the door and open it slowly. The view I got just broke my heart, Saint was sitting on the verge of the bathtub, crying while holding his phone...in the dark.

I switch on the light startling him.

"I....You...you were sleeping.." he started panicked. I stay silent, just nodding my head, I know he needs time to finish his sentence as he tries to calm down.

"I didn't....want to....to wake you up" he says in between sobs.

I slowly walk over to him, hugging him as he burries his head on my belly. I don't know how long we stayed like this, but long enough for my legs to start hurting and for him to calm down. No one speaks a word as I clean his face with a washcloth. When I finish, I carry him to the bedroom lying him down on the bed. I take off his clothes, leaving him in his boxer shorts as I take out his pajamas. I dress him and he let's me do it, then I do the same before crowling back in bed. I want to ask him what happened but I don't want to remind him about that so I just lie there, without moving or making any sound. As he wraps himself around me seeking some comfort before sleeping.

What should I do now? what happened when I was sleeping? I have si many questions left hanging....did someone call him? Why was he holding his phone?....

"Please, if one of us cries, let both of us cry. But preferably neither of us."  
― Erich Segal, 


	8. Doubt

Saint Pov:

I wake up in the morning feeling empty. I've cried the whole night in P'Zee's arms. I turn around seeking for his warm but he's not there. I look around half asleep, he can't be gone right?... Judging from the coldness of the bedsheets he must have left the bed a while ago. I take my phone and check the hour: 1pm, yes he's probably at the gym. I don't want to wake up to this empty house....empty like my feelings today..but I can't go back to sleep, my brain is too awake and aware of the loneliness to let me fall asleep again. 

I slowly get up from bed, take some clothes and head to take a shower. After the shower, I do the bed and start cleaning the room until I found my boyfriends T-shirt. I take it in hand and smell it...smells just like him, I look at the clock hanging in the room...he won't be home before another hour at least so I go back to the bed and lie down with his t-shirt. Hugging it feels like hugging him.

 I'm still feeling like shit, I know my worth, I did my best and P'Zee is right but I can't help but feel bad..why me? they know they make me feel that way and they enjoy it probably. After a while my phone rings it's a message from Perth cheering me on and telling me he feels horrible for what they do to me and asks me if I want some company. I laugh...bitterly I feel worse Perth...I feel worse...but thank you for trying to be there. I just send him my thanks, it's not his fault and there is nothing he could do anyway, and I also tell him I want to spend time with P'Zee. 

I throw the phone on the bed after that and head downstairs. I prepare myself some breakfast and sit down un front of the TV. Am I watching it ? No, as usual I'm daydreaming. LBC was my first movie, my first big role, the 1st of many more. The one I'll forever remember and cherish. I thought we would do so many seasons, be so close to each others....P'Zee's right....I'm too naive...im sitting here while they have work...I'm doing youtube lives alone while they're together...At least I have that elephant event at the end of the week to look forward to...the first couple event we will have. I'm so happy that the company contacted P'Keng first, at least they can't cancell it right? that's the only hope of some work I have. 

While I'm lost in my thoughts I hear a phone ring. I look around and find P'Zee's phone and take the call.

"Hello?"  
"Saint?I've been calling you for hours! Why don't you pick up?"  
"I've sorry Phi my phone is not with me. Something happened"  
"No P'Zee will let you know now. We just met. Please be careful of your phone."

After that P'Chen ends the call. As I was going to call him back I hear the door open and Zee walks in. 

"Hi babe" he says as he takes his shoes away and comes to kiss me. He doesn't look good but I say nothing as he smiles at me and heads to take a shower. 

As he comes back, I'm eating my breakfast on the sofa and waiting for him to speak.

He sits very close....weird. He looks at me and I know he's hesitating to speak, and then he takes my breakfast away and puts it on the table...wtf? He then grabs my two hands. "Babe we need to talk"... the worst scenario goes around in my head...Maybe he wants to break up? or...

"What? It's my mom? Something happened to mom? Phi you're scary, please" I can't help but panic he's rarely this serious.

"No. Calm down." He pulls me so close that our noses are almost touching. "You remember the event with the elephant you have?"

I nod indicating him to continue "you don't have it anymore..."

I froze...what does he mean? "We don't have that anymore? Did the company cancel the event?"

"YOU don't have it anymore. They decided to make it a group event  and they don't want a cp event anymore" he says slowly observing my reaction. "Your contract is concealed..." I can see how scared he is but this is such a shock to me

I start shaking..."this must be a joke right? You're kidding me...right? ZEE YOU'RE KIDDING ME?!!"

No that's not true...they didn't do that again...Tears are already rolling down my cheeks. Out of rage I take the pillow and throw it away while screaming before letting me fall down on the sofa.

P'Zee runs to my side taking me in his arms and rocking my body in an attempt to calm me down. 

"I suck...I'm not good...why?...why did you not stop me....phiii whyyyy"

Zee's pov:

"Why...?"

 

He's sobbing harder...I don't know what to do and I just want to destroy everything around me. When P'Chen came to meet me at the gym and told me, I asked him to not tell Saint before I reach home...I knew this was going to affect him so much...and the worst is that I'm powerless...

 

"Phi is sorry...Phi should have known...Phi is sorry"

"I hate them!!!!!" he cried out hugging me, He's gripping my back as if he's life depended on it. 

And all I can do is rock his body and apologize for not being able to protect him...We spend hours sitting there, at some point he stopped crying. We are just sitting down there in silence.

"Let's go upstairs and lie down a bit, I'll make you some warm tea, hm?" I ask him  
"Phi don't leave me...don't throw me away too." He whispers. I help him stand up and kiss his head "stop talking nonsense. Go up I'll be back".

After some tea, I join him on the bed hanging him his tea. As I sit down he puts the glass on the bedside table and turns to me.

"I recieved a voice message" he says on a serious tone.

"What did it say?" I ask, but instead of answering me he slowly hands me his phone

"You want me to listen to it ? Is it why you cried yesterday? " I ask again, he nods and looks down on his hand.

His behaviour is strange, what happened to him? I decided to listen to the voice message.

"I like you, you're very cute. You should train more you'd look better"

That's the only thing, and it's my voice but I don't remember it. I repeat it 3 times before Saint grabs the phone and throws it away and then turns his back towards me, I can see he's hurt by this but he still asks me

"Did you say that.....did you say it.....to N'Perth?" 

I'm speechless, and I look at him in disbelief and then I fall back and start laughing. I feel Saint trying to hit me but I catch his two hands before saying "Babe, Perth is the last person I would think cute, I rather say annyoing or a brat! I don't like that kid nor do I like his friends and his company"

"You're the annoying one! Stop calling him brat just because he played with me" he says

"Okay, he's a nice Nong when he's far from you, very far...so far...like an ocean apart far... And also that Plant is annoying stay far from him too, he keeps on getting on my nerves"

"Plant? You mean Plan? he's fun tho" He asks me again. As if I care about his name...

"Yes plums"  
"PLAN"  
"PLOT"  
"PLAN!"  
"PLANT"  
"P'Zee! "  
"Love of your life" I say smirking as he hits my chest "shut up" and then giggles.

I pull him closer, kissing his hands and his cheeks, "I would say that to a nong that's true but I would never mean it in a romantic way. I probably said it to one of my nongs and someone recorded it. Did you believe it that much? You even cried in the bathroom".

He plays with my shirt, "I didn't but...I thought that someone wants me to be all alone without you or the friends...or maybe...maybe you'll also get tired of me...it's been 3 years already...maybe I'm a crybaby  and maybe...I don't deserve you..." he did his best to avoid staring at me so I forced him to look up and just kissed him.

He pushed me away, "Phi!" but this time I don't care so I pull him in for another kiss and bite his tongue once before breaking it. 

"Ouch! That Hurst !" He says putting his hand in front of his mouth. 

"From now on, at each negative thoughts about yourself I'll kiss you, wherever we are, whenever it happens and no matter what you say to protest. I might also bite you... And if it doesn't stop you, then I will..." I said smirking as my hand started to slowly go down all along his back until it reaches his buttock before he slams it away.

"Get lost, you pervert !" he screams at me but his smile betrays him.

"Oh come on, we both now you love that" I say winking as he laughs

"I'll revenge P'Zee !"

I smile as he starts explaining how he will revenge for the forced kisses. And at that moment, I have a small thought for whoever wanted to separate us, " Dear Mr X, you can try to fool us with those things, but you won't succeed to separate us. We trust each other too much."

I then shift my focus back on the little boy lying next to me, who is now giggling and telling me some stories. He went through a lot, and the storm isn't over but at least I can still make him smile.

"If you took another road, you might have fallen off a cliff." William Shatner


	9. Reminiscences

_I then shift my focus back on the little boy lying next to me, who is now giggling and telling me some stories. He went through a lot, and the storm isn't over but at least I can still make him smile._

Zee' POV:

"I am glad, he wasn't your first kiss" I blur out but I really think so. I'm glad his first kiss wasn't on set or planned like the one the kiddo had...

Saint suddenly stops in his track and looks at me..

"Do you have fever Phi~? how can he be my first kiss...you stole mine 3 years ago" he said giggling. 

I remember that and smile, "you remember that? You were so cute" 

"I do, how can I forget it?...such a romantic kiss.." he said smiling at the thought. 

Flashback : 3 years ago.

Saint was in his room, throwing clothes left and right.

"ARRRG!! Annoying wardrobe! !!" He sat down on his bed, very annoyed at himself.

The reason he was so agitated about clothes: Zee Pruk Panic, his senior and "friend". Zee or P'Zee as Saint calls him is a young man with a gentle personality and a great sense of fashion. So naturally Saint wants to look good for him...and the second reason is that he's Saint's crush and it's been a year so he wants to look good for his crush.

Zee invited him on a 3 days beach trip. 3 days is long but short at the same time and knowing that they would share a room...Saint is really stressed and excited about it. So he spend more than half a day to prepare what he needs, especially clothes that would make him look good.

☆☆☆☆

Zee was anxiously waiting for the little boy to come out. It's been 3 months today...that he has a crush on Saint and since then he did his best to make them hangout together and he also flirted but his friend doesn't seem to notice that.

Saint came out looking very handsome with a white and orange shirt and light brown short. Zee couldn't help thinking that he's cute.

They started the trip pretty well. Saint was singing and dancing next to him as he was driving and singing along. But after a few minutes Saint fell asleep so Zee turned the radio off letting him sleep peacefully. He couldn't help thinking how the younger one looked really cute.

When they finally arrived at their destination it was already 2pm. So they headed to the hostel before going out to the beach. Zee learned that Saint loved the mountains and he was very active, doing this or that.

They spend hours talking, getting to know each other and playing in the water. They then decided to go back, they still had 2 days to spend there and they wanted to rest. But none of them rested actually, sharing a room with a talkative boy isn't helping but strangely Zee doesn't feel bothered.

They watched a horror movie because Saint found it funny how Zee would be scared of everything.

Saint found a spider under the bed in the middle of the movie making him fall and giggle uncontrollably at how Zee screamed out of panic when he showed the creature to his Phi. After a while Saint calmed down looking at Zee's scared face he took the spider out before laughing some more.

Zee learned that Saint didn't have fears. They talked about their career, Zee told Saint how modeling worked, how his agency worked and how he met Domundi boys. It's not been that long but he gets few jobs here and there and he really enjoys it.

Saint tells him why he chose acting, how he loves playing characters from great books and that he wants to work as an actor. But he also has a lot of difficulties finding a movie or a series. He tells Zee how hard it is for him to be casted in a series.

"There is this series, a boys love, the casting went well...I got the role. I was soo happy and we all celebrated with mom and friends. Then the filming was concealed because of the budget and sponsors....so I'm back to the beginning: get casted. But I won't give up, because my mom told me to never give up on my dreams" said the young boy smiling widely.

Zee couldn't help but smile back, the boy was so energetic and hardworking and he was sure that one day his talent will be noticed.

"Your mom isn't against you playing gay roles? Most parents are usually against.." he asked unsure if it was the right way to aks it.

"Hmm she never complained about it. She told me to do my best so...I guess she doesn't mind?...do you have something against gay people Phi?" Saint fearfully asked...he was planning to tell P'Zee about his feelings but if the boy didn't like gay people Saint will never tell him...better stay friends than Zee hating him after that...

"No of course not!" Answered Zee...of course not, he loves a man himself how can he have such thoughts.

"I'm open about it. I don't think love has gender, I think you can love whoever you love without worrying about gender" he said smiling

"I once fell in love with a cute boy" he added watching Saint's reaction

"You loved a boy? How was he? Who is he? Why aren't you together???" Saint couldn't help but throw all these questions

"Calm down Saint. He was very cute, talkative and energetic. His identity a secret and we're not together because that's how it was supposed to be" he said..until now...he mentally added smiling.

Saint smiled, secretly wishing for Zee to fall in love with him too. Unknown to him that Zee already loves him dearly...

They went to sleep, facing each other in their own bed. Both thinking how it would feel to embrace the other one before bedtime.

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once." John Green


	10. Our Beach Trip (Day2)

The next Day Zee was really well prepared. He had made so many plans for them, he wanted to make the most out of their small trip. But of course, nothing went as planned.

Instead of being outside at the beach, they were inside due to heavy raining and coldness. He was wondering if God had planned to ruin every plan he had since it rained all day.

The positive side of this was that since it was really cold, they shared one blanked to watch a movie and Saint was really really close.

Saint was shy at first to sit so close under the same blanket but when he sat down next to Zee he felt Zee's hand in his back nearly hugging him. He couldn't help but smile. He's focus was now on Zee's body, he could feel the muscles of Zee's arm while he was leaning against it. He imagined how it would feel to have Zee hug him close..

He didn't expect Zee to pull him close making him lean on him. When Zee did it Saint didn't resist it letting Zee pull him closer making him lie on his Phi's chest.

They both smiled, and Saint fell asleep that way while watching that horror movie they both lost interest in. Both just let themselves be drown in the moment, without worries and without questions letting their heart take the lead for once.

The 2nd day was just as fun as the 1st one. They talked about Saint's dream, about the auditions he already did and those he will do in the future. They talked about the modeling job Zee was into.

Later, Sainr took a really great time modeling & imitating Zee making them both laugh at how he acted it out. Zee was sad at how things turned out in the morning but seeing how close they grew during the day, he was thankful to the rain. Thanks to that they could spend hours talking and eating together.

That Night Zee had asked Saint to put on some nice clothes and to join him in the lobby of the hostel. So Saint didn't know what to wear...what does it mean "wear nice clothes? Does he mean I'm not dressing up well?" Saint questioned himself while getting ready.

"If that's so, he will have to buy me so many Bingsu to be forgiven!" He decided before looking at himself through the wardrobe mirror and going out of the room after a small nod and wink to himself.

Zee was anxiously waiting at the lobby. He wasn't going to propose but he just felt as nervous as a groom to be. He couldn't stop everything now, at least not without losing his friendship over a misunderstanding. So he just kept going with his original plan.

"Come on! You can do it! Be a man!" He told himself in hope to lessen his nervousness.

He waited for a while more until he saw Saint going down the stairs. He looked etheral, like those princes coming out of their castel in movies, being all elegant and flawless. Except for the fact that Saint wasn't a prince, and that the kid ran to him while grinning widely. That's Zee's favourite part in Saint, he's too pure and too cute for this world.

Zee gave him a hug and pinched his cheeks, " you're adorable tonight"

Saint blushed and smiled, thinking "is this a date or what?"

"I think we should eat here first and then I want to show you something if you agree." Said Zee looking at Saint.

"Yes Phi, you're the leader tonight" Saint answered charmingly. He was actually very excited to know what his Phi had planned tonight.

They sat in the hostels restaurant,  in an isolated area. Zee had planned everything perfectly he was just hoping no one would recognize them and talk about it. He doesn't want their first date to be ruined.

They had some high quality Food but Saint was eagerly waiting for the dessert. There is no way you'd end a meal without a dessert right? However Zee started standing up and telling Saint that they had to go to the next location and didn't have time for dessert. The boy was disappointed but still followed Zee out.

They got into Zee's car and drove away for 20 minutes. Saint was being more and more curious about what Zee had planned and he was secretly wishing that there would be some dessert involved.

However what he found out was even better. Zee had prepared a nice blanket on the beach with small lights around it and some Bingsu ready to he eaten. Saint looked at Zee and thought about how he always said that Zee has been really vocal about adoring Saint.

Zee took his arm pulled him towards the blanket. "Come on, let's have Bingsu while watching the stars." Said Zee as they sat down next to each other. Zee doesn't like sweet things but he is willing to eat them if it's with Saint. The dessert was mostly eaten by Saint actually, Zee just took some bites here and there. Watching Saint enjoy his food was enough for him.

Once the Bingsu was finished, a waiter came and took the plate away, leaving them alone again. Saint sat closer to Zee, faking being cold. He didn't expect Zee to take off his Jacket and wrap it around Saint to keep him warm. He also put his hand around Saint and pulled him closer to his body.

"So the wind won't be that strong for you" he said

He didn't need to say more anyway, Saint was already trying to not grin madly at this. He was far more than happy for Zee to hug him like this.

They sat there in silence for a while, enjoying the view. Until Zee Started talking again.

"I have a secret, I need to confess.."he said

"What is it Phi?" Asked Saint looking at Zee

Zee made them sit facing each other, knees touching. He took Saint's hand in his, drawing circles on top of it before looking at Saint again.

But no words were coming out of his mouth. He couldn't speak it out, he was too afraid of Saint's reaction. He could take rejection but not losing their Friendship.

"I'm...." he started before stopping himself.

Since he couldn't speak he decided to give it a shot. If he's going to lose a friend, it's better if there is a real reason to it. He let go of Saint's hand, to stroke Saint's cute cheeks..the cheeks that looked soft and that he always wanted to pinch or kiss.

He looked at Saint expecting him to be confused but the boy was smiling and blushing a bit. So Zee just leaned in until their lips touched, until he felt the boys plump lips against his own. He then started to kiss it, light kisses at first waiting for Saint to react or push him away.

But Saint didn't move at all. Neither did he respond nor did he push him away. Until Zee took the bottom lips and nibbled at it. Saint stopped the kiss.

They Both sat there looking at each other.

"I've fallen for you.... I love you....."

.  
.  
.  
.

"I need you, like a heart needs a beat" - Unknown


	11. Our Beach Trip (End)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the end of the Flashback. I don't know why I thought of it like this but their beach trip defenitely gave me this vibes...I imagine Zee as a very romantic man outside that whipped boy😆😆😆   
> I love my whipped cream Zee😘 but yeah I can see him doing this but I don't know if he really is a romantic person😅
> 
> Yes it's Zee confessing 1st and not Saint😂
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed !  
> Until next time ❤❤

"I've fallen for you.... I love you....." Zee blurred out

"Phi..." Saint started in a sad tone.

"I really do....so please don't hate me for this. I shouldn't have kissed you but I did and..." Zee was rambling, not knowing how to explain himself.

"Don't do this Phi....don't joke around with kissing" Saint said,"I...I love you too...I've always wanted this to happen...don't make it as a joke" Saint explained looking at Zee very sharply.

Zee felt relieved, at least they share the same feelings.

He pulled him into a hug, "Stop talking nonsense Saint, I'm not joking aroung. I love you too, I do and that's why I kissed you, that's why I asked you out tonight and that's why I organised this trip for us to be alone here. I would dive in the ocean or climb a mountain for you if you want me to".

"Why would I want you to do that Phi?" Said the boy, his face hidden in Zee's shirt.

"I don't know...but if you wanted I'd do it...as long as it doesn't involve snaked or lizards or whatever animals...I'm scared" explained Zee half joking.

Saint started laughing, "oh P'Zee I wouldn't send you anywhere,you're such an easily scared person." He was still half joking too but looking.

Saint looked up, his eyes meeting Zee's. He was looking at Saint with such a loving expression, Saint could see the all the love the boy had for him through his eyes.

Saint's heart softened, "Can I be the person you run to or call when you are scared and need comfort?" He asked as he grabbed Zee's hand.

Zee nodded, he was so happy. "Yes, as long as I am the person you share everything with. Joy, sadness, sorrow and victory...let us cry, fight and be happy together....Be my boyfriend?"

Saint couldnt hold back his smile when Zee finally asked the question and he nodded repeating "Yes" multiple times like a spell.

Zee finally stopped resisting his heart and slowly got up from his sitting position to kiss Saint again. This time Saint didn't resist the kiss, he let himself feel it, let himself enjoy and appreciate it.

Zee was kissing him in such a gentle way, as if Saint was the most precious jewelry he had and he was scared of breaking it. Saint liked that, he like being taken care of since he never gets to experience it. Usually he's the one taking care of people.

Zee slowly pushed him back on the blanked laid under them and Saint lied down on it. The beach was empty, the late hour making it silent. The only sound we could hear was the waves and the sound of two boys kissing in the dark.

The lovers were entengled together on the beach. The wind was blowing harder now but they were in a bubble, nothing could disturb them in their happiness.

Zee wad nibbling at Saint's lips, kissing it endlessly. When he was tired of the bottom lip, he would go to the top one and so on. Saint's hand were everywhere on Zee's body, touching and feeling the others body.

Zee ended up hiding his face in Saint's shoulder blade. Breathing in the younger boys sweet scent, thinking that he could easily get addicted to it..

"We should head back...it's getting late" he softly whispered  
"We should " whispered Saint.

Zee got up and helped Saint up too.

"Wait for me here a bit, I'll warn the owner" Zee then disappeared in the dark leaving Saint alone.

Saint looked up to the moon, it was a full moon night. He waited for Zee while thinking about how everything happened so fast, we're they really dating now? Or would Zee ignore him once they go back to their lives?..

He was in deep thoughts, feeling his mood change when suddenly he was lifted up and carried away. He thought of screaming but he knew those arms and laughter too well

"P'Zee ! Stop put me down, stopppp"

An Zee did stop, only to spin Saint around.

"Why where you standing under the moon's light looking all gloomy?" Zee asked him after spinning him around effortlessly. Saint was still in his arms, so he slowly put him down but kept his hands around his waist.

"I was just overthinking that's all P'. But I don't want to think about it now, I just want to enjoy it for now." Saint said.

Zee then silently took Saint's hand leading him to the taxi he had called after speaking with the man who arranged this picnic for him. They sat down in silence and went back to the hostel. Saint was really nervous, Zee's silence was unusual for him.

After entering the room, Zee took a shower and then send Saint to do the same. When Saint came out he gasped, the room had changed.

The usually 2 beds where gone..instead a huge bed was in the middle of the room. The bedsheets where changed too, it wasn't those brown strange ones but they were white and looked soft. On the bed were some roses petals. Looking at it closely his name was written with it.

Saint slowly walked closer to the bed when he heard Zee's voice coming from the desk near the window on his left.  
"Do you like it?"

He turned around finding his boyfriend looking quiet happy.

"I do...but wh.."

"Why?" Zee interrupted him. "Simply because you deserve it and because I wanted to do this for you and because I love you. Because you told me you like such things and becomes I'm in the mood. Also because I love seeing your face light up in joy...the list is long you're sure you want to hear all the why?" He said chuckling.

"Tonight is the last night Saint, last night of our trip" Zee Said as he walked closer to Saint. "Last night alone and together in a room. But it's also a beginning for us right?"

Saint nodded, "Yes phi...thank you"  
Zee stroked Saint's cheek, "You're mine now, there is no turning back Saint. I won't let you run away."

"I won't run away anyway..." Saint said smiling.

"Let's go to bed then" Zee started to open the bedsheets but Saint stopped him.

"No let me take a picture first please. I want to keep it forever. Can you stand next to it?"

Zee smiled at the boys cuteness. " Yes sure"

He knelt down next to the bed smiling and doing a thumbs up while Saint snapped the picture. He then collected the petals and put them away. Before joining Zee in the big bed.

Zee was on his back, Saint lied down on his chest, letting Zee hug him.

"Saint...when I said there is no turning back...I mean it. I'll take care of you from now on"

Saint looked at Zee and smiled. He kissed Zee once, twice and a few more before finalling going to sleep..Saint hugged Zee and snuggled as close as possible before falling asleep as Zee was stroking his hair.

End of the Flashback

 


End file.
